“She’s got to the part of the book where I’m talking about my original plans in Latin America to enjoy the local culture, including having fun with the women there. Obviously, she’s freaking out.” (p.400)
When I decided to publish a book detailing some of my most personal moments, I knew I’d be creating some awkward situations for myself. It’s one thing to have friends know more about you, or for complete strangers to read about your life and learn some lessons while being entertained. But when a girl is just getting to know you intimately, books and blogs often spell trouble.
A big challenge is seeing girls projecting my stories onto our new relationships, before we have the chance to create stories of our own. Some of the things I’ve experienced include girls unfairly screaming at me because I don’t treat them the way I’ve treated other girls in my book; girls feeling less special when they read words from my personal vocabulary that have been used with others; accusations that I’m not even the same person that’s portrayed in my blogs and novel; a faster than normal attraction to me when girls feel they know who I am through my writing, forgetting (or not realizing) that I still need time to get to know them; frustrations from both sides when girls quote things I’ve written, or when I know they’ve read and misinterpreted something about me or my character, and I prefer to tell them to go back and read it again, rather than fight over things I feel they should(n’t) already know; intensity, intensity, and more intensity way too early in the relationship.
When we normally meet someone (whether through friends, a dating service, online, etc), both people have the opportunity to share pieces of their history and personality at their own pace, when comfortable or appropriate. With the blogs and novel, it’s like throwing back a dozen energy drinks at the same time: it feels like an incredible boost at first as you can do (or understand the good sides of someone) more, but when that low comes, it really hits hard, and it feels like I’m getting stabbed when my words from unrelated situations are used against me without sensitivity, especially when it’s by someone I hardly know.
It’s natural for a girl who’s interested in me to be curious about what I’ve done, and with the amount of time I spend behind the keyboard, it’s hard to hide my blogs and book for very long (that’s what I’ve started trying, but my most recent girl somehow found the blog on her own). There doesn’t seem to be much I can do about this, as I’m not about to stop writing. At the very least, it gives me more drama and stories to inspire further reflection..?
Life. - Not All Men Are Monsters - Sex. Travel. Food. Life. - Brian Johnston 
Mo’ money, mo’ problems.
When you put that shit out there, you create a public personna whether you enjoy the results or not. You need to write a book called “Crazy Bitches Go Away”.
ha, i laughed non-stop for a good five minutes after that comment!
haha, I agree with the previous comment, the book will be a hit!!!
It s either that or you find someone who doesnt know how to read! lol
I understand the point of being curious and try to know what you have done in the past, but quote texts and try to be treated the way others were, its insane! I think, as I once told you, your book and blog will be the best way to find the right girl (if there is any right or wrong) and get rid of all the craziness around you!
thanks for the support, i’ll consider the book if this one ever starts making money!! 😉
I hope the book wasn’t meant to draw women to you. I think it’s rather self-indulgent. Anybody who writes “Not All Men Are Monsters” obviously thinks he’s not one. The title itself almost sounds defensive, no?
the book was definitely not meant to draw women to me, the audience I was originally intending it for was men more than women, in fact. The title was chosen for two reasons: one, as a catchy way to grab attention (in combination with the logo/cover I designed), and two, because it links to a very particular, very important reference in the book’s pages, that give it much more significance and sense than the first reason for the title, which yes, could almost sound defensive or just plain funny at first glance (people frequently put there finger over the ‘Not’ and tell me that’s what it should have been called).. 😉 thanks for sharing!!
I can see how what you’ve written could cause new people in your life to compare themselves & situations to those you’ve experienced in your past. We all do this even if it’s hasn’t been written down. I’d be open with new people about the existance of your book & blog, better to be honest than deal with trust issues later. Then just be open about how you feel about being judged on your past but that people grow and experience new things every day and you want to grow and experience with them and not have them hold your past over what is being built between you. All the best, sounds like it’s been a rough month!
Thanks Tammie. I agree about being honest, rather than trying to hide things. I just won’t be throwing the book out on the table or lending it out the first days or weeks I meet someone. 🙂 It’s been a rough year I’d say, really appreciate your support! 🙂
Someone could say you come with a manual now 🙂
scary…